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March 19, 2012
This thing hasn't been touched in years.
Cranky as all hell. So a question about everything below. If youre mad at me or know what the hell I've done wrong please let me know because I've had enough.
I needed a place to just type and this won out. I don't have friends any more. Some hang out together but I'm just never invites or told about shit all anymore. Others just don't seem to have the time of day to talk to me. I can offer to help one with classes or anything of the like an it means absolutely nothing to them cause I keep hearing how it's stressful but they won't ask. I don't get told anything anymore. I'm losing my friends. I'm so sick of being left out its ridiculous, this is like elementary school all over again except this time people dont scream and run away when they see me. They just never come around close enough to warrant the running away. Another one who I though was a good friend turned out to be a fucking asshole. I love people telling me what I need to change about myself for them to accept me. Accept me for who I I am myself I always have been an always will be. So screw you.
Other people talk to me never face to face though. So I begin to wonder do they really actually still care or are they just texting for something to do? Either way I don't know but it makes me upset cause I over think it and convince myself of things that really aren't true.
I'm probably one of the worst people to talk to lately cause I'm cranky, no one ever invites me out to go do something. The only things I go to are birthday parties at the bar, or band parties or out for food after rehearsal. Ive invited people to go out and everytime I get turned down by everyone I invite. So I'm sorry I'm bitchy to talk to but honestly you try living where maybe a few people text you. You never go out with just a few people who actually want you there. you spend every day with family when not at school. Even making up reasons to stay at school longer just to not have to go home cause there is nothing to do there except clean, watch tv and not much else. Oh play games on my computer.
Bottom line is I want friends and I need to know who still actually cares about me cause it's getting to the point where I'm upset everyday over this. I need someone to ask me how my day was not just always talking about theirs. I know my days suck and I'll probably just say something depressing but at least then I know you care. I feel sometimes that I should put a note on my forehead that says "please pay attention to me"
Posted at 3/19/2012 1:52:49 am by princess_brat
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July 27, 2008
So First of all I never update this thing and the only one who ever reads it is Robyn I'm sure. Because i'm bored at night this is what i'm going to do.. another one of these weird fill out things.
Instructions: Go to urbandictionary.com & type in your
answer to each question in the search box. Then write
the first definition it gives you.
one
Your First Name: Kelsie
Description is sweet, but ferocious inside. Can be elegant when feels like it. Can tend to get freaky sometimes, so you have to learn how to have control. Tends to giggle alot but will put sexual moves upon you.
two
Nickname: Kels
being superior to everyone else. being superior in every single way
three
Favorite Color: Pink
slang reference to the vagina (Oh dear...)
four
What should you be doing? Sleeping
To masturbate furiously in your room while praying that your grandma doesn't come in.
five
A Friends Name: Robyn
to proform infront of an audience, to succeed on the stage
six
Food: Fruit
1. some one who is a flaming flamboyant homosexual
2. a very tasty edible snack, in which one might find a nice sweet pleasure from
seven
Hometown: Calgary
The best city in Canada. Has the Flames, the new Stampeders, and the Calgary Stampede, the greatest outdoor show on earth. Madtroll, you are a dick and have probably never been to Calgary. It's a beautiful city full of life and culture. You are probably a redneck bumpkin living in Alabama. But that's besides the point. Calgary is a great city. Hot girls, good bars, good times.
eight Your Last Name: Lawton
When you hide a camera and tape your sexual acts without letting your partner(s) know.
Oh wow.. Who knew I had such a creepy sex-crazed weirdo name
Posted at 7/27/2008 12:49:34 am by princess_brat
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March 31, 2008
I prefer to do these things on here as opposed to facebook
Ok, here’s how this works: You look at your Facebook wall and then take the names of the last twelve people who have written on your wall. If they've posted more than once, only use their name once and skip to the next person. Got it? My twelve (and this was very difficult, because I apparently talk to the same person an awful lot *Mary*): 1. Jayson Gaudreau 2. Alexis Kendall 3. Yasmina Souley Dosso 4. Tim Cheng 5. Kelsey Roach 2. What's the best memory you have of 9?
CRUB 03/04
3. When's the next time you're gonna see 4?
at school sometime
4. Is number 8 pretty?
Gorgeous
5. What was your first impression of number 10?
she playes trombone really loud
6. How did you meet 3?
gym class this year
7. Is 11 your best friend?
No
8. Have you seen 5 in the last month?
yes
10. When was the last time you saw 12?
a long time ago.. no a quick hi at our band camp in march when she was there to work with gino with stetson's brass
11. Have you ever been to 1's house?
nope just met him
12. When's the next time you'll see 10?
tomorrow
13. Are you really close to 3?
not so much anymore
14. Have you ever been to the movies with 4?
no we should though
16. Would you ever go out with number 7?
sorry kate I don't swing that way
17. What do you and number 2 talk about the most?
hawaii,calgary,banff and boys :P
18. Do you even know 9?
no so much anymore
19. Would you give number 3 a hug?
yes
20. Are you in love with number 12?
shh it's a secret!
21. Do you know a secret about number 8?
I don't think so I would like to though
22. Describe the relationship between number 9 and number 5.
they've met eachother I don't know if they ever liked eachother though
23. What is the best thing about your friendship with number 1?
well as for right now meaningless flirting
24. Have you ever danced with number 7?
oh probably which the stuff that goes on in the band room
25. How long have you known number 12?
since grade 9 so about 3 years... no closer to 4
26. Have you ever been in a fight with number 8?
nope
27. Would 2 and 4 make a good couple?
I could see it actually
29. How did you meet number 6?
BOC
31. What would happen if you put 10 and 11 in a room together?
that would be interesting.. they would just goof off
32. Do you live close to 7?
not really
33. What is number 2's favorite food?
no idea
34. Out of your top 12, which one would you say is the funniest?
35. Who is the most flirtatious?
1 he flirts with everything as we determined last night
36. If you could change one thing about number 10, what would it be?
she needs to be a little more corrupt
37. Say something about number 11.
she's awesome and i'd really like to get to know her more, I feel like as a frosh no one really knows me yet
38. Which one lives the farthest away?
Kelsey.. way down in douglasdale
39. Which one do you hang out with the most?
erika
40. Who is the loudest?
chelsey
41. What kind of car does number 12 have?
she doesn't drive
42. Have you traveled anywhere with number 8?
not yet but portland in june!
43. If you gave number 6 $100 tonight, what would they spend it on ?
hmm I'm not sure
Posted at 3/31/2008 12:16:53 am by princess_brat
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March 10, 2008
I don't get to sleep this month at all! :(
Take this next week for example.
Monday - School, working on yearbook after school, Brass choir performance
Tuesday - Before school choir rehearsal, having to go watch a band perform in my school, stampede band, come home and work on homework/yearbook
Wednesday - school, after school rehearsal, lessons, yearbook/homework
Thursday - choir after school, concert after that
Friday - School, choral fest (for school) band camp
Saturday - band camp
Sunday - band camp
Monday - potential kiwanis again with brass choir, if not working on yearbook
Tuesday - early morning band, school, stampede
I have no life actually, all my time is being spent busy, or the little free time I have is spent doing yearbook because we have to have it all done this month!
I am going to go to bed. No more today!
Posted at 3/10/2008 10:54:45 pm by princess_brat
Permalink
March 6, 2008
i'm screwing over my life
I don't actually know what I want to do for the rest of my life and I get a few idea's and now those have been changed into what i've said I want to do. Yet as of right now I have not been accepted into that program i've been accepted to get a bachelor of science at mount royal next year I don't know what I can do with that. Not to mention i've been soo worried about the god damn yearbook I completely forgot to apply to the scholarships provided through mount royal. I can no longer apply for any of them.(not to mention my mom is really mad at me for "not bothering to do anything" I hope to hell I can get scholarships somewhere else. also will I be fully accepted i'm worried i'm going to do these things and then mount royal is going to change their mind and say i'm to stupid to go to school.
that's also what math tells me. I seem to go to math class some days and my homework either tells me i'm understanding something or it tells me that i'm too stupid to understand
Friends are just another issue. I don't really have any friends that I can talk to or do something with out side of school or band. With some if it's not about their boyfriend/girl friend then they don't care.. others if it's not about something they are doing they don't want to talk to me about it, and also some friends have simply found someone better to be friends with so i'm just left behind. Like the other day I found out a bunch of people who I though I was good friends with all went and spent the day together.. anyways I found out about this the following week at school and when something was mentioned I got this look from a couple of them that they were trying to hide something from me. But this is partly my fault too.. because the people who seem to want to talk to just want to talk to me about their problems and I just can't take it some days!
Or another example.. there are three grade 12 trumpets... during band class there is always conversations going on but the extent of my involvement is simply questions to be asking what bar we're on
I'm just sick of everything right now. I'm sick of school bands, i'm sick of dealing with the year book i'm sick of people i'm sick of not having the time to get things done i'm through with being sick I hate it!
I just want spring break to come I just want to be someone with a life for once. I want to go out and have fun at something other than just band. I want things to change but I have a funny feeling that's not about to happen anytime soon.
Posted at 3/6/2008 1:00:32 am by princess_brat
Permalink
January 27, 2008
I've been bored over exam break and i've found a couple songs by Taylor swift that I love. Click on the titles to hear the songs.
"I'd Lie"
I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes
He'll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing cause I hope he's wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favorite songs
And..
I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I love him,
I'd lie
He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn't a light go on?
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?
He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine
I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I love him,
I'd lie
He stands there then walks away
My god if I could only say
I'm holding every breath for you...
He'd never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything
But my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My god he's beautiful
So I put on my make up
And pray for a miracle
Yes I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
If you asked me if I love him
I'd lie
"Our Song"
I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down
He says baby is something wrong?
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song
And he says...
Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again
I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day
Had gone all wrong and been trampled on
And lost and thrown away
Got to the hallway, well on my way to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice all the roses
And the note that said...
Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again
I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song...
Cause our song is the slamming screen door
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
Cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have"
And when I got home, before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again
I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I wrote down our song
Anyways it's been a good few days. Got new jeans finally I can through out my old ones that i've killed from wearing them so much. Also I ordered my grad dress today:) it was a little more expensive than my mom was planning on spending so i owe her half or a third of the cost it depends if my dad is going to pay the other half or not.. but it's a gorgeous dress i love it.. :)
Then last night and today i've played with the brass choir and percussion at the Dino's basketball games, we have so much at those i love doing those performances:) and the cheering/heckling is fun today we had the band yelling creamsicles(the opposing teams colours were white and orange) so we had fun with that brendan told us not to.. but didnt seem to care.. and the percussion yelling at the coach it was amusing because he was so mad his team was losing i thought he was going to throw something at us a couple times.. but it's all good fun. A
As for now.. i'm going to bed got to get back into the swing of things as I have an exam monday and school starts again on wednesday
Posted at 1/27/2008 2:03:29 am by princess_brat
Permalink
January 25, 2008
don't feel like putting it on facebook
1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
umm
2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
i'd like to think so
3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no
4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
nope
5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
i've never been in one
6. What is your longest fight with one of your friends?
something in junior high probably
7. Are you a fast typer?
some what
8. Are you afraid of the dark?
no
9. Do you like someone right now?
possibly
10. What ended your last relationship?
Him. Being Dumb.
11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
a couple weeks ago i was freezing cold so i made a hot bath and climbed in:)
12. Do you knock on wood?
no
13. Are you drinking anything right now?
water
14. Do you think you're attractive?
sometimes
15. Have you ever been in love?
define love
16. Do you miss someone right now?
yes
17. What do you want for christmas?
i wont know ask me in 11 months
18. Do you know the muffin man?
who lives on dreary lane?
19. Do you talk in your sleep?
no
20. Do you remember your 1st crush?
yes
21. Have you ever flown a kite?
yes
22. When was the last time that you went swimming and where?
tara's house hot tub
23. Do you consider yourself successful?
it depends on what i'm doing
24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
no idea
25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
nope
26. Plans for today?
clean my room, grad dress shopping
27. What did you do this past weekend?
umm.. i babysat and went to a funeral and i went to band.. oh and i studied
28. Miss being at school?
yes and no
29. When's the last time you told someone you loved them?
parents - yesterday
friends - not long ago
someone I actually liked/loved- never
30. Do you want to be single?
some days yes some days no
31. How are you feeling today?
pretty good:) (i got new jeans!)
32. Who's your hero?
i don't know
33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
nope
34. What are you looking forward to?
band, next semester, this weekend(not doing much but it will be good
35. If you could be stranded with one person for 24 hours who would it be?
that's tough
36. Do you bite your nails?
no
37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
no
38. Can you handle the truth?
yes
39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
i don't know if i could eat that or not.. i remember i couldn't eat the green ketchup when that came out
40. What 3 things do you always bring with you to places?
cell phone, money,lip chap
41. Any cool scars?
not cool just weird.. my left ear- had an earring ripped through left hand right finger bitten by a dog..pointer finger-bitten by a chicken yes you read that right a chicken.. and a few others.. not exciting though
42. You are missing in action?
no?
44. What's your deepest secret?
I can't say, for if I did than it wouldn't be my deepest secret now would it?
45. How often do you talk on the phone?
not that much
46. Do you believe in love?
yes
47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
yep
48. Four things about the preferred sex that you first notice?
eyes,smile,personality,height
49. When was your last time you cried?
little while ago
50. Who did you last hug?
nicole-leaving bp's
51. Do you get along with your family?
most of the time
52. Where is your phone?
in my pocket
53. What was the last thing you ate?
cinnamon bun
54. Favorite Colour(s)?
pink.. kind of... i don't like it as much as i used to
55. Last movie you saw?
gone in 60 seconds
56. What song are you listening to?
nothing
57. What do you want?
i don;t know
58. Favorite car?
the pretty ones... :)
59. What T.V. show are you watching?
none
Posted at 1/25/2008 3:52:41 am by princess_brat
Permalink
January 14, 2008
So i've offically had enough. I've got to get through the rest of my homework than get through tomorrow and my diploma's and then I can relax for a while as things change going into second semester. I need it to come faster.
This weekend was an amazing but it was a super long weekend! Lets start on friday.. nothing to exciting. We got a new choir song comissioned for us, it's really pretty. One of our trumpets lost his dad this weelend so it's been a hard weekend for him and a shock to the rest of the bad as his dad was quite involved with the band. He has asked the brass to play motion picture, so the entire brass line is going to go next friday.
Then the fun stuff, tumpets are a gong show we had a party after band. There was a time with like 4 people in a closet screaming. There were amazing things being said such as "Get your hand out of my ass" etc. We went in the hot tub, then we all jumped out ran across the snow to jump on Tara's trampoline. After we started slipping n the trampoline we went back in the hot tub, some were still out then there were races and stuff in the snow. Everyone got back in hot tub and then we played the game 'never have I ever ...' if you've done what they say usually you drink but since we had band we counted fingers. Everytime you got to three you had to jump out roll in the snow then come back. That was frigging cold! After that we played video games, straightened carrot's hair (it was crazy) we had a spooning fest on the couch. Telling jokes trying to stay awake when none of us could think of one. We watched some of harry potter 5 and ate cinnimon buns at about 2 am told stories. Then we went to bed at 3 woak up 4 hours later cleaned from the drinking that happened and then we left for band stopped at tim hortons and made the lady mad because we couldn't understand anything she was saying, then we went to band and started again.
So tonight was not a fun night got home had supper and such. Working on homework due tomorrow..I must get it done! Anyways I just got to thinking and just was in a very distracted mood thinking about this weekend and death and lots of things. bad idea for me. Then Robyn was talking about Chloe and relating to what she was saying.. and that set me off. I've never had that before. and just thinking about everything, talking to people, being tired and stressed over homework i just broke down and started crying.. i don't know why it's not me.. i'm the happy one just these past few days have been weird and people havn't been really talking to me or they change from place to place so they like me now but 20 minutes later they want nothing to do with me.
well here you go robyn and whoever else checks up on this once in a while..
Posted at 1/14/2008 12:40:29 am by princess_brat
Permalink
October 16, 2007
so i've offically done 5 days of band camp and i'm tired
anyways this is just another little blog i'll start doing longer blogs later right now I just have so much stuff to do and not much time to do it in.
i've decided it's time to update/change things in my life.. change my habits, change lots of things.. not sure all what I want to change yet but i'll figure out when I get there
as for right now welcome to the new version of my blog!
Posted at 10/16/2007 12:47:00 am by princess_brat
Permalink
October 4, 2007
Kay so I actually will update, when I get the chance too.. aka when i'm not stupid busy with homework and such
Posted at 10/4/2007 12:59:10 am by princess_brat
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